


Vive La Révolution!

by Okaeri_Kairi



Category: Rune Factory (Video Games), Rune Factory 1: A Fantasy Harvest Moon
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Genderbending, Parody, Reverse Harem, Romance, Spoof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-08-22 05:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8274730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okaeri_Kairi/pseuds/Okaeri_Kairi
Summary: Raguna, an amnesiac with nowhere to go, has been roped into working a run-down farm on the edge of the village of Kardia. But while she's glad to work for her keep, the farm she's been given is an utter disaster, and on top of that, she's flat broke, leaving her no time for much needed rest and socializing.If she doesn't get some help soon, she's going to snap. It's a good thing that there's magic that allows her to enlist the monsters that appear outside of town. Perhaps with some woolies in tow, she'll be able to manage her time better and finally get to know some of those pretty village girls.





	1. Slump

**Author's Note:**

  * For [simulatedstrawberries](https://archiveofourown.org/users/simulatedstrawberries/gifts).



"Hello? Anyone home?"

Raguna turned over in her straw bed at the sound of knocking, only half awake.

"Come back later," she murmured, too low to be heard outside. A moment later the knock came again.

"Helloooo...? Raguna? Are you in there?"

She groaned.

"I said, come back later!" she called, turning her back to the door.

"What are you talking about, it's already morning!" came the muffled reply.

Raguna opened one reluctant eye to see through the window; it was still pitch black out.

"It's dark, and therefore night; return during a sane hour, if you don't mind," she said irritably.

"It's six in the morning, and you have chores to do!" Mist's voice said.

_Ugh, why?! All I wanted was water, how did I end up a farmer?!  
_

"C'mon, Raguna! Rise and shine!"

 _Right. It's all because of this girl,_ she remembered sluggishly.

She sighed and pushed herself up, wincing slightly at the dull muscle ache that never seemed to go away these days. From dawn to dusk, her entire day was spent plowing, weeding, and sowing, and her fields were so derelict that getting the trash and stones out of it was slow, painful work. Already three weeks of spring had gone by, but she was only about one-third through the field for the next season.

"Fine, I'm coming," she sighed, sitting up and reaching for her boots. They were thick and heavy, the toes plated with iron, and they were caked in mud. She set them next to her on the floor and began to get dressed.

A few minutes later she trudged through the front door. Mist was waiting for her, smiling naively as always.

"Morning, I brought you a gift!" she said cheerily. She held out several pouches of seeds.

"More turnips?"

"Wow, how'd you know?!"

"Lucky guess," Raguna said dully. She stifled a yawn.

"You don't seem so energetic..." Mist said, leaning forward to get a closer look at her face. Raguna gulped slightly; she was a bit _too_ close...

"I'm just tired," she stammered, avoiding Mist's eye. _Why does she have to be so damn pretty?! This is how I got conned into working here in the first place, dammit!  
_

"Oh, well, nothing like working yourself into the dirt to cheer you up!"

_And there's the weird, right on schedule.  
_

"Right," Raguna said, resigning herself. She'd left her hoe lying against the wall the day before; she picked it up and threw it over her shoulder. "Well, I'm going to work, then."

"Have a nice day!"

* * *

_All I wanna do is just take a day off,_ she complained as she plowed a new furrow, sweat beading on her forehead.  _Everyone else gets to go for a drink in the evening! Everyone else goes exploring! But noooo, I can't even have one day to relax because if I don't work myself to the bone I'll go broke and starve._

She had been fishing a lot for her meals lately; the fields wouldn't yield a thing until later in the season, but if she ignored them she'd be in huge trouble financially. There weren't a whole lot of ways to make money in Kardia; it was a pretty small town, and farming was the most important and most lucrative job available, assuming one worked hard and lived to work.

"Hey, Raguna, how's it going?"

She looked up to see Emmett, the town barkeep, leaning against the fence. He was an older man, heavyset and always in a good mood. Despite their vast difference in age, he and Raguna got along very well; she frequented the bar on her rare days off.

"Hey Emmett," she said, wiping her brow. "It's going... well whatever this is," she said miserably, gesturing toward the mess of sticks and rocks everywhere.

"Yeesh, every time I drop by, I swear it actually looks _worse_. You got your work cut out for you, Rags."

"Every time you call me that, I can feel myself get a little poorer," Raguna complained.

"Nah, you're just dirt poor to begin with. That's why you're Rags."

"Ha. Funny."

"So, what ya been planting?"

"Mostly turnips," she sighed.

"Mist?"

"Mist."

"Is it because you're being nice or-?"

"Well it _started_ with being nice; I mean, she saved my life and all, the least I could do was plant a few turnips for her, y'know?" she said, leaning on her hoe. "But she just keeps bringing them, and you know what? I am broke as hell and free seeds are _free,_ Emmett. _FREE."_

"You're gonna be eating turnips for the next ten years at this rate," Emmett chuckled. "You need to learn to say no, kiddo."

"I _want_ to say no, but then she looks at me with those big blue eyes and gives me that innocent smile and.. _._ "

"Pfft, you're worse than Lukas. C'mon Rags, get it together."

"I can't! When it comes to Mist, _I am weak,"_ she lamented.

"You don't have to tell me that, I can see it clearly enough for myself," he guffawed.

"How did I get into this mess? I'm so tired, Emmett," she sighed. "Yesterday Felicity invited me to go shopping with her, and I couldn't go because, guess what? Fieldwork. I've been meaning to start exploring the caves around town, and to work on my swordsmanship with Mei, but again, I can't. _Because fieldwork._ And as you know, I haven't even been able to go to the tavern in ages and I need a drink _so badly._ But I can't, because FIELDWORK. I don't know how old I am exactly, but I'm definitely too young to be slaving away my youth."

"Hang in there kiddo. It's tough starting out on your own, but it'll get better, I promise. You have to put in all your time and effort if you want to become a productive member of society."

"No!! I refuse!" Raguna said suddenly, throwing down her hoe. "I don't _want_ to become a productive member of society, I just want to be able to eat normally and relax, goddammit!! Nobody even needs my bloody vegetables, Camus and the others already have perfectly good farms!"

Emmett grinned. "Sorry, you wanna eat, you gotta work."

"I don't mind work, but this is a _mountain_ of work! Mist let this field go to waste for so long that just getting it back to decent shape is killing me! And a farm this size is too big for me to run alone anyway."

"So get some help."

She blinked. "There's... _help?! THERE'S HELP AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?!"_

"Whoa whoa, wait, lemme explain," Emmett said, waving at her to calm down. "So you know them monsters in the caves outside of town?"

" _No,"_ she said pointedly. _"Because field-"_

"Right," he cut off hastily. "Well anyway, there are monsters outside of town. If you go out and wrangle yourself a few, they'll help you with the farm."

"What, just like that?!"

"Pretty much. There's some kind of weird enchantment on the town that makes most monsters compulsive workers. Of course, the more they like you, the better a job they'll do, and there's always exceptions. But long story short, if you got a place to keep em and the food to feed em, they'll run this place nice and smooth for you."

"Emmett, I'm going to kill you. Why the hell didn't you tell me this three weeks ago?! I could have been planting fodder instead of these bloody turnips!!"

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least Mist will be happy, right?"

Raguna pressed a hand to her face.

"Mist owns my ass... doesn't she?"

"Mist owns your ass."

* * *

Comrade Falienzo was minding his own business, as usual. His day began with a nice breakfast, followed by a nice long nap and a bath in the river. Afterward, he always went for a walk, in order to dry out his precious wool coat. Keeping oneself clean and fluffy was a Wooly's pride and joy, after all, and Comrade Falienzo was determined to grow out a better coat than Comrade Berinde this year. If he did, he was sure to impress Comrade Meretta and finally win her favor.

He was daydreaming about her as he walked that day, so he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. He didn't notice the magic circle on the ground, or the weird silence in the forest around him. He plodded on as usual, and when he crossed the boundary, there was a flash of light and the forest disappeared. When he opened his eyes again, he was in a dank cave.

"Baa?!! Baa?"

 **Translation:** _What the hell?! Where am I?_

He turned around frantically, looking for a tree or familiar landmark, but all he found was a strange machine, whirring away ominously.

"Baa?!"

 **Translation:** _Oh crap, did I get summoned?!_

Sometimes, monsters randomly went missing from the Forest of Beginnings. They usually showed up a few days later, saying that they'd been summoned to the human world by magic. The general consensus, after generations of trial and error, was that if one was summoned, the best course of action was to attack the first human they saw and let themselves be beaten to a pulp. Human tools and weapons almost always had Retornen magic, which spirited one back home in an instant. Unfortunately, humans were too stupid to understand monsters, so getting them to use their tools by civilized means was nearly impossible. This meant that a good beating was usually in order for the poor homesick monster, though there was no rule that said one didn't get to fight back, just out of spite.

"Baa..."

 **Translation:** _I guess I'd better find a human to attack..._

He found a likely looking tunnel and started to follow it, hoping he'd make it back home in time for his afternoon nap.

* * *

_Alright, sword? Check. Rope? Check. Escape Tome? Check. Okay Raguna, let's catch yourself some monsters!  
_

Raguna whistled to herself as she made her way into the cave, her sword hoisted carelessly over her shoulder. She didn't expect to find any particularly tough monsters; she'd gotten advice on where to go from Russell, and she'd decided to go for a few woolies. They were weak monsters that were fairly dexterous and generally made for good helpers.

"Plus, they're adorable," she'd said when she saw the illustration in the book Russell lent her.

"A fair point," he'd agreed.

Her goal was to catch two or three of them. She figured that a couple of woolies were about as much as she could handle with her current supplies and income, but once her fields started producing, she could always return for more. 

_No more menial chores! No more slaving away! I can go on dates and sleep in, I can get drinks whenever I want! Long live woolies!_

It didn't take long for her to find a likely monster generator. The ugly machine made a ghastly noise, but all she had to do was sit and wait for a monster to be generated, and hope it was a wooly.

* * *

Comrade Falienzo quickly found a promising target. For some reason, the stupid human was hiding behind a rock, staring at a machine just like the one he'd seen when he was summoned. He couldn't understand what it was doing, and after trying to puzzle it out for a minute, he decided to just get the inevitable beating over with.

"Baa!!"

**Translation:** _Hey, idiot! I'm over here!_

He lowered his head and charged with all his might. He struck the human right in the back.

"Ow!!" it cried. Comrade Falienzo jumped back for another attack, giving the human time to draw its weapon.

He charged again, but this time the human managed to hit him. The weapon had an edge, but it didn't cut Comrade Falienzo. It struck like a blunt object, and it _hurt._ Nevertheless, the magic wouldn't work until he was knocked out, so he tried to scratch the human next. The blows kept coming.

"Baa!! Baa?!"

**Translation:** _Fuck, dammit, that HURTS!! What idiot designed Retornen magic to be so damned inefficient?!_

He was getting irritated and quickly forgetting that his goal was to be beaten. He just wanted to land another blow on the stupid human and make it hurt too, and that was when he made his mistake.

He hadn't seen the rope in the human's other hand, he was too focused on the weapon. But when he dodged it in order to smack the human as hard as he could, the rope was suddenly lashed around him, binding his arms to his side.

"Baa?!"

**Translation:** _WHAT THE HELL?!_

"Yes! I caught it!!" the human said.

"Baa?!"

**Translation:** _C-caught?!_

"Hmm, let's see here..." the human pulled out another object, a slab of some sort that opened up to reveal several thin sheets.

"Baa..."

**Translation:** _I don't like the look of that..._

"Okay, so to activate the escape magic, I need your name and a destination. We've got the destination, so I guess all I need is to give you a name," the human muttered. It tapped its cheek thoughtfully, staring at Comrade Falienzo. "Oh, I know, I'll name you Slump!"

"Baa?! Baaa!! Baaa, baa!"

 **Translation:** _What the fuck kind of name is Slump?! I already_ have _a name, a perfectly noble name, you stupid human!! Comrade Falienzo, repeat after me: Com-rade Fa-li-en-zo!_

"Great, you like it too!"

"Baa!!"

**Translation:** _I do not, unhand me this instant!!_

"Okay, Slump, from now on, you'll be living with me! I'm Raguna, okay?" The human patted his head condescendingly, and Comrade Falienzo wished he could move enough to bite the damned creature. The human muttered something unintelligible and for the second time that day, Comrade Falienzo found himself being teleported somewhere he absolutely did not care to be.

"Baaaaa!!"

**Translation:** _Goddamn it, no one told me humans also kidnapped us!!_

He supposed it may have slipped someone's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMRADE FALIENZO, STAY STRONG. YOUR STRUGGLES HAVE ONLY JUST BEGUN.


	2. The Corporate Strawberry Enterprise

Lukas could hardly ask for a better town than Kardia. True, it was rural, as far out in the sticks as it was possible to be, and quiet. For a young man in the heat of youth, it wasn't exactly the sort of town that exuded excitement or opportunity, but it did boast one particularly important asset, at least for Lukas.

For a small border town, Kardia had a disproportionately large population of unmarried young women.

Since he'd been a child, Lukas had always dreamed of becoming a bard, of roaming the world and sweeping beautiful girls off their feet. As he grew older, he found the roaming part increasingly tedious, and decided he'd be content with just pursuing whatever lovely faces he could within reach. He wasn't unattractive; he knew he had a boyish charm and a bit of sensuality that men like Camus lacked, and he knew that the young ladies of Kardia were perpetually bored with their simple lives. As far as he was concerned, he was prepared to take the town by storm, except for one tiny detail.

He was a terrible poet, and girls couldn't stand him.

Still, that didn't mean he wasn't prepared to try.

When Raguna became a member of the village, everyone fully expected Lukas to waste no time in pursuing her. They were not disappointed.

The first evening after she settled into Mist's farm, he was at her door, asking her out to tea. When he began to recite a particularly bad poem, she shut the door in his face.

The next day, he brought her a small handful of flowers. She stared at them intently for a minute.

"Are these dandelions?"

"Huh? Oh, I don't know, my lady. I merely saw their wild beauty and was reminded of you." In truth, he couldn't tell flowers apart for the life of him.

She sniffed at them cautiously. "They sure _smell_ like dandelions," she murmured, and to his horror she snapped one off its stem and chewed on it pensively. "Ya, dis is dandelion, thanksh," she said, looking weirdly grateful at having been given a bunch of weeds. "I was starving," she added as she cut another bloom. She ate the whole bouquet.

The following day he ran into her at the general store, where she was deep in conversation with Rosetta. Her demeanor was completely different; on her farmstead, she'd been no-nonsense and casual, her androgynous figure and boyish gestures suited to the honest war she'd begun waging on the fields. But here, in front of Rosetta, Lukas could hardly recognize her. Her cheeks were pink, her blue eyes shining warmly, and her fingers twirled a strand of hair around shyly. She was suddenly very feminine and alluring, and she seemed to be be fidgeting slightly. More alarmingly, Rosetta was smiling as they spoke; it was a smile he'd never seen before, inviting and sweet. That was when he understood.

Raguna was not a flower to be courted. She was a wolf to be feared, set loose on his territory.

_ENEMY! SHE'S AN ENEMY!!_

And thus, only three days after her arrival, Lukas declared war on the newest bachelorette in Kardia.

* * *

Comrade Falienzo thought things couldn't get any worse. Kidnapped, stripped of his beautiful name, and given a bevy of meaningless tasks, he was miserable in his new life as Raguna's so called "help". Every morning, he compulsively left the barn and plodded along the field, picking up debris and tossing it into his little bucket. When it was full, he tossed it into what Raguna called the "shipping bin" and it was all eventually hauled away by another human who complained the whole time under its breath.

Comrade Falienzo would complain too, if he had to haul away that much garbage every afternoon. But he had his own problems.

As much as he wanted to disobey, he couldn't. There was an invisible force that made him want to do the tasks Raguna set out for him, though it wasn't strong enough to make him _enjoy_ doing them. He dragged his feet and did his job half-heartedly, but it still seemed to cheer Raguna up a great deal no matter how little work he actually got done. The human's stupid smile and condescending attitude at the end of the day pissed him off.

Then there was the food. It was awful, dry _grass_. Comrade Falienzo liked grass fine, when it was fresh. But Raguna's grass was stale and tasteless and Comrade Falienzo found himself wishing for a nice apple or a handful of berries. He'd even go for a pear, as much as he hated the bloody starchy things. He tried to eat some of the weeds and grass on the fields instead, but Raguna caught him at it and forbade it. Anything he didn't toss into the shipping bin, she ended up eating herself. She was truly diabolical, torturing him at every turn. Comrade Falienzo could only assume she was the devil herself.

But the absolute worst thing about Raguna was what she did the day after she caught him and bound him to her will with her dreadful magic. Humming to herself, she took an awful looking human tool and brutally shore his beautiful wool coat until he was as naked as the day he was born. As Comrade Falienzo cried against this terrible indignity, she took his wool and tossed it into the shipping bin with the rest of the _garbage_. She didn't even wear it herself! When the trash human arrived, he mourned the loss of his coat, the beautiful coat he had grown out to impress Comrade Meretta. He could see no sense in this wanton cruelty; humans were far worse than anyone in the Forest of Beginnings had ever warned.

* * *

Rosetta was tired of hauling sacks full of weeds and stones away from Raguna's fields every afternoon. The daughter of the grocery store owner, it was Rosetta's job to go around the farms in town and pick up the produce they produced. She would then pay them and take the goods back home, where she separated them by type and sold the raw materials to the proper businesses. Monster products went to Neumann or the bar, ores to Leo's forge, crops were sold in her father's store, etc.

Unfortunately, she was obligated by town law to pay farmers for  _everything_ they shipped, even garbage. Though she didn't have to pay much, the costs of labor on her end far outweighed the marginal profit she made from disposing of the useless materials. She had to carry them back home, separate them, and then find a creative way of selling them for a slightly better price. So far, she'd begun selling weeds to the doctor's office; she couldn't tell apart the herbs from the trash so she sold it in bundles and let Lara figure it out. The branches and stones she sold to Camus at a discount; the idea was that he could use them as emergency materials for his building projects, but Rosetta was sure that Camus was just pitying her and taking them off her hands because they were old friends. Not that she cared; money was money, and if Camus wanted to pay her out of friendly obligation, that was his problem.

Still, she preferred spending her time on more lucrative products, and Raguna was quickly becoming the bane of her merchant's soul. Even when the promised turnips began to appear in the shipping box (to her immense relief), they were always accompanied by the random trash Raguna picked up off her fields during the day.

"Raguna, do you _have_ to keep shipping weeds?" she asked one day after opening the bin and finding yet another sack full of brambles.

"I'm sorry, I have to," Raguna lamented, and to Rosetta's horror the young farmer began to sob into her hands. "I'm so _broke,_ it's painful; I can't afford to waste even one gold."

"Even with the turnip crop?! I'm paying you good money for those!" Rosetta said, quickly handing Raguna her handkerchief.

"Turnips don't sell for enough to offset the costs of running this place," Raguna sniffed, her nose red. "Almost my entire income is gone when I buy more seeds and equipment. And I can't afford better crops, do you know how expensive seeds are?!"

Rosetta coughed a little, pretending to busy herself in the calculations for Raguna's payment. She was the one who set prices in her father's store, but Raguna didn't need to know that.

"Besides, I'm not shipping _everything_ I find on my fields," Raguna mumbled, and for some reason her face went pink. Rosetta felt her heart skip a beat at the cute gesture; perhaps it was something about Raguna's rather handsome profile, but it was general consensus among the village girls that when the newcomer was serious, she was far more dashing than she had any right to be. The rest of the time, she was a bit of an airhead and earnest to a fault, though that somehow only increased her charm. Then there were moments like these, where the young woman was so adorably pathetic that it was impossible not to feel a tinge of not entirely selfless concern.

"Dear gods, Raguna, you're not _eating_ this crap?!"

"I have to eat SOMETHING!" she wailed, bursting into tears again. "Do you know how unreliable fishing is?! Do you know how hard it is to eat your precious crops when you know each one is worth more than you can afford?! Do you know how hard it is to watch Mist take basketfuls of them home?!"

"Honey," Rosetta said, firmly placing her hands on Raguna's shoulders. "Stop letting Mist walk all over you. You're going to die at this rate."

"But she won't listen! It's like talking to a brick wall! And I'm not paying her rent, so the least I can do is give her some turnips..."

Rosetta sighed. She was the last person qualified to criticize forms of payment.

"Okay, how's this?" she said, making up her mind. "Stop by the store tomorrow morning, I'll figure something out to give you a hand."

"Really?!"

"It's the least I can do for a friend." _And to stop finding weeds in this goddamn bin._

"Thank you, Rosetta!!" Raguna cried, hugging her. Though they were both women, Raguna was a few good inches taller than her, which meant that Rosetta's face was pressed into her shoulder. It was a very nice shoulder, she decided. Well-built and clearly muscled, and the scent, though earthy, was really rather agreeable.

"Anything to stop you eating weeds," she said, glad that Raguna couldn't see how flushed her face was.

* * *

Raguna left Slump in charge of the field for the morning and headed into town. She was almost to the store and daydreaming about a warm, home-cooked breakfast for a change when a familiar voice called out to her.

"Aha, caught in the act!"

She turned, startled, to find Lukas glaring at her, arms crossed, in front of the grocery store.

"Oh, hey Lukas."

"Don't give me that, I know what you're here for!"

"Give it a rest, Lukas, it's too early for this," she yawned.

"It's never too early for thieves to strike," he said, pointing his staff at her angrily.

"For the last time, stop calling me a thief. First of all, Rosetta does _not_ belong to you. Second, what the hell is your problem?"

"As if I need to repeat myself! I've seen the furtive glances you've given my beloved muse! I've seen that wolfish look in your eye!"

"You know, just because I think she's pretty-"

"Aha, you admit it!"

"Oh shove off," she sighed, pushing the door open.

"Good morning, Raguna," Jean smiled as she walked in. "Can I help you?" Lukas followed hot on her heels. "Oh, Lukas. Rosetta's in the back room if you want me to call her out," he added in a slightly colder tone.

"Morning Jean," Raguna cut in, preventing Lukas from answering. "Actually, I'm looking for Rosetta myself."

"In that case, hold on a moment." The tall, fair haired man wiped his hands on his apron and walked over to the store room. It was easy to see that much of his daughter's good looks actually came from Jean. "Rosetta, Raguna and Lukas are here for you," he called in his soft voice.

"Good, I'll be right there," they heard her shout. A moment later she hurried out, looking as full of energy as ever.

"Hey Raguna," she said, completely ignoring Lukas. Raguna couldn't help feeling slightly smug. "So I thought about it all night, and I've come up with a way for you to make good money in a short amount of time."

"Seriously?!"

"Yep. It's genius, if I do say so myself," she grinned. "All you have to do is convert half your farm into a strawberry field. I call it, Operation Strawberry Cash Grab!"

"Strawberries?" Raguna asked, confused.

"Yeah, look," she pulled out her account book and showed her a page full of calculations. "One bag of strawberry seeds goes for 80 gold, right? But a whole crop of strawberries will go for 200 gold a gram, that's an insane payoff!"

"What the hell, what's with the stupidly high price?!" Raguna frowned, staring at the arithmetic.

"Everyone loves strawberries," Rosetta shrugged. "Personally, they're my favorite, but most farmers don't grow them."

"How come?!"

"The soil around here doesn't actually have enough nutrients for them."

Raguna groaned. "Then how is turning half my field into a strawberry farm any use?"

"Well see, that's the catch! Any regular farmer has to go out of town and use the caves to grow crops that won't grow in town, right?"

"Right, and they grow in the dark because...?"

"Runes, duh. The caves are full of them."

"Runes? You mean those glowing crystal things that show up in my fields?"

"Exactly, they're a kind of energy that support crop growth. Or something, I'm not entirely clear on it, but whatever they do, runes allow you to grow stuff you wouldn't normally be able to farm. And since you're an Earthmate..."

"Ohhh, so that's why there are runes in my field!" she exclaimed. "You really think I'll be able to grow strawberries?"

"There's a risk, but I think if anyone can do it, it's you," she smiled.

"But... I can't afford this many seeds," Raguna said, her initial enthusiasm fading.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'll give you a steep discount."

"What?! Seriously?!"

"Just this once. All I ask is that you stop shipping weeds... and that you let me have a few strawberries from time to time," she winked. Raguna blushed slightly.

"Hold it! I'll do it too! I'll grow strawberries!" Lukas suddenly cried, pushing Raguna aside.

"What the-"

"Lukas, what part of 'Raguna's an Earthmate and is the only one who can pull this off' did you not catch?" Rosetta asked, exasperated. "You're not even a farmer. Beats me how you support yourself, actually. You just walk around all day, heckling girls."

"I don't care, I'll go out into the caves and grow strawberries, just for you, my muse!"

"You'll get killed out there," she said, no real concern in her voice at all.

"I'll brave it, I'll do it!"

"Fine, whatever, but _you're_ not getting a discount," she shrugged. Then she paused for a moment, and a sudden brightness seemed to come over her expression. "Wait, hold on. There's a cave down south that's pretty easy to farm in. Xavier told me about it. You _could_ probably grow strawberries in there, and It'd be _such_ a big help if you'd sell them to us..." she said, her tone completely different. Raguna could practically see the money reflected in her eyes, but Lukas, the idiot ham, didn't seem to be catching on.

"Anything for you, Rosetta! I'll grow so many strawberries you won't know what to do with them! For you, I'll start the... The Corporate Strawberry Enterprise!"

Raguna rubbed her temples and sighed. "Lukas... just because you string words together in a sentence doesn't automatically make them mean anything, you know."

* * *

Comrade Falienzo was napping in the barn when a sudden light startled him awake. He jumped to his feet, ready to fight, but a moment later the flash of light disappeared, leaving behind a small, fluffy bundle on the barn floor.

_Huh? What's that?_

To his surprise, the bundle shifted at the sound of his voice. A pair of wide eyes stared at him from a black, fuzzy face.

_"Help me!"_

Comrade Falienzo wasted no time. He hurried forward and bit the ropes off his fellow wooly.

" _Are you alright? Can you move? Hurry, you must escape before the devil arrives!!"_

_"The devil?"_

But it was too late, and a second flash of light later, Raguna was transported to the barn.

"Phew, that was rougher than I expected," she muttered.

 _"Run for your life!!"_ Comrade Falienzo bleated.

But as the other wooly tried to dash past, Raguna sealed its fate.

"Cloud, stay!" The poor thing stopped mid-step, straining to walk forward but unable to move its feet forward.

_"I can't move, what horrible magic is this?!"_ **  
**

"It's too late to shear you today," Raguna said, reaching down to pat the new wooly. "But I'll be needing your help sowing before the sun sets."

_"Shear?!"_

Comrade Falienzo miserably held out his own naked arms, and the other wooly shrieked in horror.

_"NOOO!!! NEVERRR!!!"_

* * *

Raguna made them walk through her previously prepared fields, scattering seeds of some sort throughout the dirt.

 _"So she just... enslaves us?"_ the new wooly asked.

_"It seems so. I don't understand her magic, but once she names you and sends you here, she enchants you to work for her. See? Even though I absolutely don't want to plant these things, I keep doing it."_

_"That's terrible! And what kind of idiot name is Cloud?! Couldn't she come up with something more clever?!"_

_"Apparently not. She's very stupid. Still... better 'Cloud' than 'Slump'. Speaking of which, what's your true name? I'm Comrade Falienzo."_

_"Comrade Gerulio. Isn't there some way to escape?!"_

**"** _I haven't figured it out yet... but I will! I refuse to stay here forever."_

Comrade Falienzo accidentally scattered the seeds outside the furrow, but he didn't bother to pick them up.

_"The only thing I've been able to do is sabotage her fields a bit from time to time, though I can't do it if it's directly against her orders. Still, there are loopholes."_

_"Like what?"_ asked Comrade Gerulio.

" _Like putting too many turnips into the baskets she sends to her landlady."  
_

_"What does that accomplish?"_

Comrade Falienzo smirked.

_"She doesn't make enough money to eat human food, so she has to eat weeds."_

Comrade Gerulio burst into laughter.

_"That's genius, comrade."  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Runes technically replenish energy instead of spurring crop growth but WHO CARES they're a ridiculous mechanic regardless.
> 
> COMRADE FALIENZO, YOUR DEVIOUS PLANS SHALL SURELY SPUR ONWARD YOUR GLORIOUS AND IMMINENT REVOLUTION.


	3. To Kill an Earthmate

Raguna was lucky that, despite Kardia's small size, the village had a clinic. Her first few months as a farmer were rough, but they would have been even worse if she hadn't had a doctor to look after her whenever she fainted from malnutrition or overwork.

"You again?" the doctor would ask gruffly whenever someone, usually Rosetta or Emmett, found Raguna slumped over in the dirt in the afternoons. "When are you going to learn not to push yourself to the point of exhaustion?" he would scold as he took her temperature and checked her pulse.

Raguna was usually too weak to reply with anything more than a pitiful moan.

"I'm going to start charging you if you don't start taking better care," Edward warned, frowning. "I have better things to do than look after a hardheaded young woman every other day, just because she keeps ignoring advice."

"Oh, you're back." A pretty young woman with bright red hair and a cowl looked around the curtain, not at all surprised to find Raguna lying in the patient's bed. "Overworked yourself again?" she asked, her expression concerned. Raguna nodded slightly.

"Hopeless," Edward muttered. "Anyway, Lara, are you done with your duties at the church for today?"

"Mhm, I'll go through the patient's records," she said, her clear voice ringing in the clinic.

"No need," the doctor called after her. "We already know what's wrong with her; she's an idiot."

Even if Raguna had had the strength to talk back, she had to admit that Edward had a bit of a point.

* * *

" _Gods, she's an idiot."_

Comrade Falienzo and Comrade Gerulio were sitting against the barn wall, munching on some turnips they'd managed to salvage from the garbage pile; they weren't aesthetically pleasing enough for humans to sell, apparently, but that hardly mattered to a wooly.

 ** _"_** _You'd think she'd notice and stop eating all those weeds. It's not like she hasn't got perfectly good vegetables to eat,"_ Comrade Gerulio snorted.

" _Humans are weird. They'd rather starve than go without money. They'd learn a thing or two from observing woolies, if you ask me."_

Comrade Falienzo took another bite, savoring the texture and flavor; whatever Raguna was, she at least had talent for cultivating delicious crops... or at least, she did when she had help.

 _"They'd be so much less stupid if they did. Hmph, you'd never find a wooly starving for no reason, or abandoning another wooly to suffer the same fate. Raguna's friends just laugh at her for fainting; if it wasn't so satisfying, it would be sad."_ Comrade Gerulio finished eating and licked his paws. Like Comrade Falienzo, he'd also been shorn, so he had no qualms about wiping them off on his torso once he was done.

 _"What are we supposed to do today, again?"_ he asked, once he was clean.

_"Water the strawberries and clear the field of trash."_

Comrade Gerulio clicked his tongue and picked up his little watering can. Comrade Falienzo followed suit as soon as he'd chewed the last of his turnip.

" _I hope she doesn't get out of the hospital today. I hate when she starts wheedling us to go faster. And I could do with a few more meals that aren't grass."_

 _"Don't worry. I spiked the weeds with enough toxins to keep her away for at least the rest of the afternoon,"_ Comrade Falienzo assured him.

* * *

Lara wasn't normally this busy. Though she held two jobs, they weren't strenuous enough to keep her from a nice, long walk in the evenings and a day off on the weekend. Her duties at the church were mostly concerned with cleaning, though she was also required to pray in the mornings and before bed. Lara didn't really consider this working, and even though Wes was kind enough to pay her a small stipend for her work, she more or less accepted it as part of her training to become a nun.

Her real job was in Edward's clinic, but for the most part, that was even less eventful than her chores at the church. As a nurse, Lara tended to small injuries, such as when the children came in with scraped knees, or acted as an assistant to the doctor. Most days, no one came in to see Edward, so she spent her time quietly making medicines and salves. It suited her; Lara liked to while away her days in her thoughts, and her jobs allowed her to do that without much fuss.

That is, until Raguna moved into Kardia.

The young woman was a whirlwind of disaster, as far as the nurse was concerned. She was amiable enough, and certainly not unpleasant to talk to, but she spent so much time in the infirmary that Lara had stopped being surprised at finding her unconscious on one of the two hospital beds every other day. If it wasn't malnutrition or dehydration, it was wounds from fighting in the caves outside of town, or exhaustion from overwork, or some bizarre stomach ache that sounded far too much like poisoning to be a coincidence. She'd once come in with the palms of her hands completely shredded; she had, apparently, lost her gloves and done all her fieldwork without them for two days before she'd had to come in to get her hands treated.

"Why didn't you just buy a new pair?!" Lara asked as she examined the skin, rubbed raw and covered in splinters. Raguna flinched violently every time Lara pulled one out.

"Can't afford them," she winced.

"Gloves aren't that expensive," Lara frowned.

"No, but tools are. And as these splinters can tell you, my tools are all in dire need of replacements," Raguna grimaced. Lara poured alcohol over the open cuts, ignoring the strangled hiss her patient made.

"Well you're going to have to buy them anyway; you can't work like this."

"I'll make a pair out of some old clothes or something..."

"Raguna! You can't be stingy when it comes to your health!"

"I'm not being stingy! I'm just poor!"

"You almost say that with pride," Lara muttered.

"It's not like I have a choice," Raguna sighed. "Work has been a lot less difficult with the woolies helping out, but there's still so much to do, and I don't have enough time or fodder to look after any more monsters."

"So why don't you work less of the land?"

"Because I'll never get out of the poorhouse otherwise," Raguna said, staring down at her hands as Lara bandaged them. "My strawberry crop won't grow in for at least a few more months, and in the meantime I still have to eat and maintain the farm."

"Well I can guarantee you that you won't be getting out of your financial troubles anytime soon, if you keep getting yourself injured or sick," Lara scolded as she wrapped and tied the bandages tightly. "How many times have you come in with a stomachache, for Gods' sake?!"

"I know, I need to eat better..."

"It's not enough to know it! You're still young, Raguna, but your body won't hold out forever if you keep treating it so poorly!" She pressed her palms over Raguna's hand, willing the farmer to understand what she was trying to say. For some reason her cheeks turned pink.

"I-I guess you're r-right," she stammered, averting her gaze. Lara let her hand go.

"Next time I find you in here, I'm not going to treat you," she warned. "You have to take responsibility for your own body." _And I have a book I keep meaning to finish._

* * *

_"Ugh, she's back."_

Comrade Falienzo looked up from his watering can to see that Comrade Gerulio was right. Raguna had just pushed the gate to the field open, hoe hoisted over her shoulder nonchalantly.

"Hey Cloud, hey Slump!" she called cheerfully. Her stupid smile sent a shiver of rage through Comrade Falienzo.

 _"How is she not dead yet?!"_ he cried.

It had been several weeks since Comrade Falienzo and Comrade Gerulio had come up with their plan of escape. The idea was simple; while working, spike the weeds and vegetables that Raguna usually set apart for her meals and poison her. Once she was dead, her orders would no longer bind them and the two woolies could make a bid for freedom. Unfortunately, Raguna just wouldn't die.

At first they thought they weren't using enough poison, or too weak a strain. They went out of their way to gather poisonous herbs and fruits and make powder out of them in the dead of night while their master was asleep. Their first few attempts didn't so much as put a damper in her step, and when they got frustrated and dumped an incredibly lethal amount in her food, she merely came down with a bad stomach ache that was quickly cured by the town doctor.

 _"What the hell is this woman made of?! That amount of poison would be enough to kill any monster, even a Minotaur!!"_ Comrade Gerulio had complained.

_"Are you sure we're using the right herbs, Comrade?"_

_"Of course!! I'd never make a mistake like that!"_

_"Perhaps we just have to use something stronger..."_ Comrade Falienzo suggested.

But no amount or type of poison would do more than send Raguna into severe stomach cramps. Eventually, both woolies gave up on trying to kill her with poison, though they still spiked her food from time to time when they wanted a day off... or when they were particularly angry.

To be fair, they were almost always angry, and Raguna was now spending an inordinate amount of time in the village clinic. As far as the woolies were concerned, she deserved it.

"You guys have been slacking a bit, huh," Raguna mused as she surveyed the field, biting her lip thoughtfully. "I guess it can't be helped... I wasn't around to keep you company, so you must have been lonely, huh?"

Comrade Gerulio gasped in fury.

_"Comrade Falienzo, I won't rest until I've killed this stupid woman with my own two hands!"_

_"Agreed, comrade."_

* * *

"Hey, Lara, I got a patient for ya."

Lara looked up from her book to find Emmett at the clinic door, a very familiar figure hoisted over his shoulder.

"Is it Raguna again?" she sighed.

"'Fraid so. Found her slumped over by the well, clutching her gut."

Lara closed the cover reluctantly and stood up. "Alright, bring her here, Emmett." The big man carried Raguna to her usual bed and lay her down with uncommon gentleness. She was knocked out cold but her face was lined with pain.

"Poor kid, she works so hard," he said, giving his friend a sympathetic glance. "It's really not her fault that Mist is using her."

"Even so, she needs to learn to take better care of herself," Lara said firmly.

"True enough. Anyway, I'll leave you to it, Lara. See you around."

"Yes, have a good day," she said. She waited for the bell on the door to chime before she sighed again and took a seat at Raguna's side. Lara couldn't help noticing how helpless and tired the young woman looked; her skin was pale and there was dirt smudged on her cheeks, but beneath her eyes were very visible black circles, and her face was drawn and thin. Lara reached out a hand to smooth out her dark hair.

_She really is rather pretty, actually... or she would be, if she didn't seem to be at death's door all the time._

"Mm..." Raguna's eyes blinked open slowly, and Lara immediately pulled back, ashamed at having been caught touching a patient. "Lara?"

"Oh, uhm, yes... you're in the infirmary again..."

"So that's why my stomach is killing me," she moaned, curling in on her side.

"I don't know what you're doing to your poor stomach, but if I didn't know better I'd say you were being poisoned," Lara huffed as she stood up to get Raguna some medicine.

The patient laughed weakly.

"Poison? Me? Even I'm not dumb enough to eat plants that I know are poisonous, you know."

"Hmph, well even if you were, I don't think you could get this sick this often from regular poisons anyway."

"What, you think someone's trying to kill me?" Raguna laughed again. "If so, they're definitely not using enough."

"Perhaps..." Lara paused. "Or maybe you're just immune."

"Huh?"

"Well, you don't know anything about your past, do you?"

Raguna shook her head as Lara held out a tonic for her to drink.

"Seeing as you can handle yourself with a sword, you might have been a soldier. And if you were, you might have been fed poisons on purpose to bolster your immunity."

"Immune..." Raguna muttered to herself, but a moment later she snorted. "Even if that was true, I doubt anyone is trying to kill me, Lara."

"Well, perhaps you have a point," the nurse said, adjusting her cowl slightly. "But you should still be careful of what you eat."

"I'll make sure to keep it in mind."

_Good, because I'll never finish my book if you keep coming in. Though... I guess it's not too bad, chatting like this once in a while.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raguna you bastard how dare you be immune to poison?!


End file.
